"Guess who!"-Jackie

"Its either Jackie...or the cold, clammy hands of death"- Hyde

"Its Jackie!"-Jackie

"Dammit"-Hyde

 

"I got busted for possession man "-Hyde

"Join the club...No really I mean join the club. We meet everything Thursday. We're tryin to raise money for a trip to Amsterdam"-Leo

 

 

"Kiss my brown ass"-Fez

 

"What a bitch...a..roonie..doonie.."- Eric

 

"We're gonna put you on trial then parade through the streets with your head on a stick."-Hyde

 

"I knew I saw long gorgeous hair flowing on bronzed shoulders..then i realized I wasnt near a mirror so it had to be you!"-Kelso

 

"One thing ive learned: Midgets make money. I dont know why, people see a midget they want to buy a blender. I guess it reminds them that life is short. hahaha good, good....write."-Bob

 

"Probation? Well isnt that just...Ducky..."-Red

 

"If you ever do anything like that again I will kick your ass so hard your nose will bleed!"-Red

 

"I am so excited to see Star Whores"-Fez

 

" And I love helping people!"-Kelso

" No you love humping people"-Eric

" Eric, a lot of times humping is helping!"- Kelso

 

"Donna, were supposed to be friends. Would it have killed you to say, I know you love him, but Michaels a jerk?"-Jackie

" Jackie, I think my exact words were, I know you love him, but Michaels a jerk."-Donna

 

"Please stop touching each other. It gives me needs"-Fez

 

"I've got something even keener than soda pop!It's called marijuana"-Hyde

"Mari...whata??"-Eric

 

"Donna and I could go..."-Eric

" To the prom!"-Fez

" No, Fez. All the way."-Eric

" All the way. To the prom!"-Fez

 

"Oh, Laurie, I remembered I can't loan you the Vista Cruiser on account of I hate you"-Eric

 

"You don't know anything! And if you do know something, I will make you sorry you were ever born."-Laurie
"Well, for your information, I'm already sorry I was ever born!"-Eric

 

"Well...I am freakin hilarious"-Fez

 

"Guess who I am going to ask to the prom? My English Teacher...Why not? She's always writing sexy comments on my work see: 'Nice work'..'good effort'..'see me'...'i love you' Okay I made the last one up but the others were real!"-Fez

 

"Forman, I'm a Romantic. So that's why I say you choke him until his eyes pop out"- Hyde

 

"Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other."-Red

 

"Okay. Alright. Do you remember that time when I was climbing your fence, and I hit my forehead on that tree branch, and I fell into your yard, and your dog Yogi came out of the house and bit me twice on the ass?"-Hyde

"Yeah, you bled and you cried"-Kelso

"I bled. I didn't cry"-Hyde

"Yeah, you did. You bled AND you cried"-Kelso

"And you laughed, man. A lot. While I was bleeding... You see my point?"-Hyde

"Yeah: it's funny when friends get hurt."-Kelso

"Close enough"-Hyde

 

"Cartoons make me horny. Oh and food."-Kelso

 

" You know what I love? Fruitcake. All those fruit just stuffed into one cake "-Kitty

"I jumped out of a cake once"-Midge

 

"What have I said about comparing your sister to the Devil?"-Red

"That it's offensive to the Devil?"-Eric

 

"Whatever happened to Zen?"-Donna

"Where Zen ends, ass-kicking begins."-Hyde

 

"Fez, the foundation of a good relationship is three little words: I don't know. What're you doing? I don't know. What're you thinking about? I don't know. Who's that under you? I don't know. "-Kelso

 

"If this van's a-rockin'... we're in there doing it."-Kelso

 

"You know Red, that hurts"-Bob

"So does a swift kick in the ass"-Red

 

"What is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head?"-Kitty

" Yes, I was. And up until now, everyone had the good grace not to mention it!"-Kelso

 

"How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?" -Jackie

"Well, how long are you going to keep throwing your face in...other..guys faces!!" -Kelso

 

"Have you suddenly become the stupidest man ever? Is Kelso no longer the reigning king?"-Donna

"Oh, I'm the king!"-Kelso

(later...)

"Sorry Kelso, but Eric confessing to Red makes him king"-Donna

"Hey...I shot my toe with a BB gun once"-Kelso

"You're right you are the king..."-Donna

"Thank you!"-Kelso

(even later...)

"I'm just installing this smoke detector"-Red

"Does that detect...any...kind of smoke?"- Kelso

"Long live the King"-Donna

 

"Michael, Phils the guy who delivers the sausage" - Jackie

" You tramp!!"- Kelso

 

"The other honeymoon suite's across the hall man. Now if you'll excuse me I have a game of Twister to stretch for" -Leo

 

"My sexual tension has been replaced by another common emotion : anger at your SCRAWNY ASS!" -Donna

 

"You have the right to remain BURRRRNED!!!"- Kelso(who else...)

 

"Hey, hey, hey...theres only room for one creepy pervert in this group and thats me"- Fez

 

"Starting now fun time is over!"-Red

"So..where was I for fun time?"-Eric